Friday, August 05, 2005

BASIC CONDITIONS OF EMPLOYMENT ACT

Dear Staff,

DRESS CODE:

It is advised that you come to work dressed
according to your salary.

o If we see you wearing Gold chain, Nike sneakers
and carrying a
Gucci bag we assume you are doing well financially
and therefore you do
not need a raise.

o If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
your money
better, so that you may buy nicer clothes and
therefore you do not need
a raise.

o If you dress in-between, you are right where you
need to be and
therefore you do not need a raise.

PERSONAL DAYS:

Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
year. They are called
Saturday & Sunday.

LUNCH BREAK:

o Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they
need to eat more
so that they can look healthy.
o Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to
get a balanced
meal to maintain their average figure.
o Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because
that's all the time
needed to drink a Slim Fast and take a diet pill.

SICK DAYS:

o We will no longer accept a doctor statement as
proof of
sickness.
o If you are able to go to the doctor, you are
able to come to
work.

RESTROOM USE:

Entirely too much time is being spent in the
restroom. There is now a
strict 3-minute time limit in the stalls.
o At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
sound, in the toilet

o Paper roll will retract, the stall door will
open and a picture
will be taken.
o After your second offence, your picture will be
posted on the
company bulletin category.

Have a nice week.
Management

enjoy!!!

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