BASIC CONDITIONS OF EMPLOYMENT ACT
It is advised that you come to work dressed
according to your salary.
o If we see you wearing Gold chain, Nike sneakers
and carrying a
Gucci bag we assume you are doing well financially
and therefore you do
not need a raise.
o If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
better, so that you may buy nicer clothes and
therefore you do not need
o If you dress in-between, you are right where you
need to be and
therefore you do not need a raise.
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
year. They are called
Saturday & Sunday.
o Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they
need to eat more
so that they can look healthy.
o Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to
get a balanced
meal to maintain their average figure.
o Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because
that's all the time
needed to drink a Slim Fast and take a diet pill.
o We will no longer accept a doctor statement as
o If you are able to go to the doctor, you are
able to come to
Entirely too much time is being spent in the
restroom. There is now a
strict 3-minute time limit in the stalls.
o At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
sound, in the toilet
o Paper roll will retract, the stall door will
open and a picture
will be taken.
o After your second offence, your picture will be
posted on the
company bulletin category.
Have a nice week.